I can't sleep
by dalittopixievamp PiciVolturi
Summary: Ah. Loki. Outtakes from "Body" When past me returns from future me and then meets present Tom Hiddleston. Please. go read my self insert fic called "Body" or none of this will make sense. Also, planning to move to wattpad soon.


Just to see how many people authorfollow me;)

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I rasped on his door impatiently, ignoring the "Do Not Disturb" sign.

The door swings open gently, of course, I was greeted by his perfect smile.

"I. Can't. Sleep." I droned, clutching my pillow.

He tilts his head, and then proceeds to look around the hotel corridor. There was no one.

I shifted my weight on the carpet.

" Yes, but we can't be seen together right now darling, Luke will murder me if he has to clear another one of those relationship rumours." He comforts me, leaning against the doorway and reaching a hand out to touch my face.

I whimpered, and then clutched his chest next to my face, earning a sigh from him.

" Fine. Come in.." He said in a defeated tone, pulling me into his room and shutting the door behind him.

I splattered myself onto his bed.

"How come you get the King Sized?" I muffled into the pillow.

I heard him snicker.

" How come I feel like I've known you for such a long time when I've just met you yesterday, crying on the doorstep of my trailer outside a press conference?" He countered, pulling his sheets up.

I turned my head to face him.

" You have no idea. Believe me."

He blinks several times before laying down beside me, but respectably away and on the covers. Oh, I forgot, he doesn't love me yet.

"Try me."

"Alright, well.. you're into some pretty intense bondage.." I started, awaiting his expression.

Turning to face me, he twists his eyebrows together before talking again.

"And how would you know that?"

I smiled.

" I don't, lucky guess, but thank you for affirming."

He blinks, expressionlessly.

" What else can you tell me?"

" You..have a diary." I went on.

His smile lit up his face.

"And what's in there?"

" You write of a lady you've seen, watching you at night, you didn't reckon she was any threat so you let her watch you." I went on.

His breathing quickens, and then fades slowly.

" True... go on.."

I rolled my eyes, thinking " how much more need i go to convince you that i am your future goddamn wife?"

I purred, grabbing his face and melting my tongue into his lips.

He hummed and panted slowly, not rejecting my actions.

"You.. are ten inches." I commented afterwards.

His eyes widened.

" Huh. even I didn't know that."

"You mentioned."

"And how would you know?"

" I MADE YOU MEASURE IT DUMMY. In the goddamn future. I told you." I hissed, lacing his chin with kisses.

"Ah." He replied finally.

" I feel that.. exasperation right now. I'm trying so hard to get you to just believe.. for once..." I whispered, a tear escaping my eyes.

"Hey.. shh shhh... hush now dear. Shhhh.. I'm just. I'm very very sorry alright? I understand that you are... trying to get me to see it.. but it's my fault I don't alright dear? It's my fault. I'm so sorry.." Tom cradled me in his arms as I continued to tear up.

In my head, I thought to him, "You have no idea what I have done and will do for you. You have no idea i'd carry your child."

I felt rather neglected.. my concerns.

Well.. tom comforting a stranger, that's him for you.

"Please. Make me understand more. I just. I have a gut feeling that you're not crazy and you're very sincere and I'm just saying that I'm doing my best to battle my senses and tell myself that my gut is right and this.. this gorgeous lady in my bed who is younger than me by alot is telling the truth and I should probably listen to her."

I smiled, taking in his scent, so familiar. I felt at home with him.

I whimpered, and then felt him clutch me tighter outside the sheets.

"For starters, let's lose the Armani Jacket." I prompted, pulling it off of his form. Seems like he didn't even have time to change when I disturbed him and has decided to selflessly ignore his discomfort.

He smiled. "How'd you know it was Armani?"

"Tom, I stalk you, remember?"

" Oh yea.." He says, sliding the jacket off and getting into the sheets beside me.

"And the pants.. lose it." I said once more, to which he did, quite happily even, and that left him in his cotton shirt and boxers.

He slid into the sheets beside me.

" I am surprisingly comfortable with this." He drones, breathing out and closing his eyes

" Yes, and you will, well, you better the hell be comfy cus I ain't getting out of your bed.. for the rest of your life." I joked.

He smiles, his eyes still close and he reaches out to clutch me to his chest.

" I really should be scared of you right now.. but you're too adorable."

I internally Awwed, but decided to continue with a straight face.

We lay in silence, the lights still blaring above us.

"Tom, I was wondering if I could-"

"-Yes."

"What?"

"Yes, like, whatever you wanted me to do, I agree, now tell me what to do."

" Oh, that was fast.. erm.. I wanted to ask you something."

His eyes shot open, and he turns to face me, his blue green orbs staring straight into my soul.

"What was Susannah to you?" I whispered.

He swallows, I saw his adam's apple move. Averting his eyes for a few seconds, he looks up at me again.

" She's nobody." He replies.

"Oh?"

" Compared to you, she's nobody. But she's taught me that I can't force myself to love something that wasn't what it was before."

I blinked several times, focusing on his breathing. Constant, smooth, intense.

"Are you forcing yourself to love someone right now?"

He smiles. " You know, I yearn to know what you've been through, for someone to talk to me like this, with such... trust and sincerity. I gave you a chance, and I tried to believe. I'm still rather skeptical, but by the way I've been treated so far, I can tell you that I'm trying my best to listen as far as possible and read your body language. My experience.. you know in acting, as taught me a few ways to identify liars. You're.. not lying. Not at all.. so logically, if you're not lying, and you have nothing to gain by lying, then I must tell myself that you speak the truth and I be good and listen the hell up to you." He goes through his thought process with me slowly, like he had before in my future.

I whimpered again.

" Please, please remember, please believe me." I begged, placing a hand on his face.

" Look, when I spotted you, covered in rain and mud, crying on the steps of my trailer, I just. I knew you weren't a rapid fangirl waiting to sink your teeth into me. You were.. crying. It was just raw emotions. I.. I normally would get Luke to get rid of you, but I talked to you, personally, I carried you into my trailer and made you some hot chocolate and waited for you to stop crying while you get warm.."

"I thought that was just you being a martyr like always."

"No... no no no no. That's the public image I have to keep up. Very different when alone. But I have to tell you that I wasn't attracted to your body, no, I actually felt something that went ' one shot, you get one shot at this. Now go be a hero to this girl.' and I was going to ask you to leave after you stopped crying but no, I defy myself again and let you stay, and got you a hotel room to stay with me, and now you're in my bed. I have defied myself again and again for you. I'm sure, if anything, it means something. It means my gut says that I should believe you."

My eyes were closed right now. His voice was very soft, but i could hear. I guess he didn't have to be loud.

"But I already love you." I whispered in desperation, my tears scorching my face.

"And something tells me that I will soon, as well. But for now I need to-"

I didn't hear the rest of the sentence. I was half asleep.

I heard him sigh, clutching me while trying to reach turn off the table lamps.

Then I felt a kiss on my forehead.

" I'm sorry, I'm so sorry darling, I'm trying to love you. I'm trying." He whispers.

I fell asleep, like the nights I did the week before, in my future.

* * *

an update, to see if you guys are still listening to me..


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